I left the Bridges and Boundaries Workshop feeling sad and angry. I was sad because I didn’t find a way to see how I behave in racist ways. I was angry because my attempts to do so were treated with scorn, bullying and attacks. I experienced white-bashing, arrogance, and shaming, from the presenters directed at the white participants.

I came, hoping to understand, not my unearned white privilege, which I had begun working on understanding, but hoping to understand how I, a progressive, socially conscious, anti-racist activist, express my racism. I am not so ignorant as to assume I don’t act in racist ways, but I haven’t been able to see what those ways are.

My perception of what was acceptable to the presenters from the white participants included one thing only. We were expected to voice our racist thoughts. The fact that I wasn’t in touch with these thoughts, assuming I have them, was greeted as a confirmation of how truly racist I was, being so unconscious. When I tried to ask questions about this, I was attacked by the presenters. My work, like that of other participants I witnessed, was actually greeted with groans.

Had I learned from that experience, I would have considered that demeaning experience acceptable. However, though an effort was clearly being made for us non targets to feel what it is like to be a target, I think it was done badly and also there was barely any opportunity to process it. In fact, when the time was made available to process some of it, instead of giving all those with questions a chance to ask them, the workshop was ended almost two hours ahead of schedule.

I left wondering if there was any hope whatsoever of any white person ever being considered anti racist and an ally to people of color. I left wondering why I should continue to devote my time and effort to multiculturalism, when it seems so hopeless. I left feeling sad and angry.

Harriet Hirsch
(WWTW, Sept/Oct 1995, East Coast)
Global Womens Diversity Organization (GWDO) Chairwoman
HarrietH2@aol.com

Harriet Hirsch attended her weekend in Sept./Oct. 1995 at what was then Mid Atlantic and is now East Coast Sage Circle.

She describes herself as white, educated and middle class, American, able bodied, heterosexually oriented, Jewish Humanist, a person of integrity, a mother (of a special needs son), a progressive political activist and seeker of justice, a world traveler, a loving and loyal friend, a lover of nature, and passionate.

She became the point person on the newly formed ECSC Diversity Committee in Jan. '06 when she realized work needed to be done and noone else was stepping up to take the lead. At that point she refused to call herself the chairwoman, believing that a diversity committee should not be led by a middle class, straight, able bodied, white person. Since then she has been willing to take ownership of the title of chair woman as she has come to believe the primary work of the committee is in educating the community of women (including herself) who fit her same 'outer' description.