Judy Mills: My Journey with Breast Cancer

My new do

FROM APRIL 1/ 07

Dear family and friends:
So many of you have expressed your care and concern since my breast cancer diagnosis, and I am grateful. You have also said “keep me posted”. This is my way of doing that. I’ve made a group list so that I can send one email to all, since I expect that my fatigue level will increase with chemo. I can’t imagine how I can be any more fatigued than I am now . . .  but we’ll see. I know that when people I care about have on-going illnesses or problems I want to know how they’re doing.

Here’s an update (and for some this is a repeat – forgive me) – I’ve had blood work, chest x-ray and abdominal ultrasound. I’ve had a port-a-cath inserted to make it easier to receive drugs and have blood drawn. I have a bone scan scheduled for next week. I will feel a bit better once they’ve confirmed that there is no other cancer.

My first chemo treatment is tomorrow afternoon – Monday April 2 – at 1 pm. Think of me then, and send a prayer if you will. The plan is to shrink the tumour and have it pull away from the chest wall, where it is now attached. Then they will do surgery. The time frame is unknown. I’ll see the oncologist about 2 ½ weeks after each chemo session, and he’ll know when it’s time to send me back to the surgeon.

I am seeing both my neurologist and endocrinologist this week for test results re. other health issues. I don’t know how the new diagnosis will affect those issues, but my hope is that getting anything else resolved will give me more energy for the cancer journey.

I’m feeling well emotionally. I am consciously open to healing and am accepting the gifts and challenges as they come. And I still have my on-going health issues… The stairs are hard. Tom is fixing up our spare room into a little retreat where I can sit and watch TV, knit and even have visitors. I may need to stay upstairs because of the bathroom issue (not having one on the first floor!) and I don’t want to stay in bed all the time. I am continuing to manage the condo, with help from Tom and Louise and offers from others.

I am feeling blessed that the system has worked so well for me. There has been an angel running interference, I’m sure, since I’ve gone from finding the lump to having my first chemo treatment in less than 1 month. That certainly counters all the horror stories we hear about long waits for biopsies, etc. I am being cared for.

There is absolutely no doubt in my mind and heart that this is a journey through cancer. I am not allowing any other option except complete healing. I expect that the chemotherapy process will also kill off whatever else has been causing my ill health for the past 20 years and that I’m going to be healed and feeling much better after this process.

Many of you have asked what you can do to help. My most honest answer is that right now I’m not sure. I am making a list of those who have offered rides, and I’ll call you if I need you. Almost everything I need to have done in April is scheduled for Mondays, so Tom will be available to take me. This may be a long road, since I expect there will be more chemo and/or radiation after the surgery. So we may need you more later. The Cancer Society has a pamphlet about what others can do for cancer patients, and I’m using it as the basis for a list that meets our personal needs. I’ll send it out when it’s done.

Please keep me and my whole family in your thoughts and prayers. Tom and the girls are doing ok for now. Aimee has been scheduling herself to be with me at appointments and my first treatment. Louise will not be going to the cancer centre at all because she is nursing, and we don’t want to expose her to anything that might harm the baby. She also can’t leave the baby for more than a little while. It’s hard for her to not be there, and her first responsibility is to Julia. I am encouraging them to take care of themselves and maintain as much normalcy as possible. We all welcome phone calls and emails. Even if you call and have only 5 minutes, it’s nice to hear a friendly, caring voice. Know that I can turn the phone off or screen calls if I’m not feeling up to talking or if I’m resting, so don’t be afraid of disturbing me. I wish I could say I’ll call you, but I probably will not because of my energy level. I appreciate so much the cards and emails you’ve sent.

I feel the collective love and support and prayers, and I believe it will help me get through this. So thank you, and I’ll write when I can or when there’s something new to tell.

Judy Mills
(WWTW Lake Delavan, May 1990)
2824 Meadowbrook Lane
Windsor Ontario N8T 3C3
519-974-1617

Email: judymills@cogeco.ca

Judy lives in Windsor, Canada.  She was diagnosed with breast cancer in March and has been receiving chemotherapy to shrink a large tumor attached to her chest wall in preparation for mastectomy surgery. She keeps a diary of her journey with breast cancer at www.carepages.com.  Visit her Judy's pages, called "yellowfinches," to read more of her diary entries, view photographs and leave a message for Judy on her message boards.