All Play No Work: The First Women in Circle Pajama Party by Mary Ann Hartnett

On April 14th & 15th, twenty-two women gathered in beautiful Delevan, Wisconsin at the House in the Wood for the first-ever Women in Circle Pajama Party.

Who knew that a single question posed by one woman would spark a 2-hour sharing around the circle of our sexual selves. Woman after woman, with openness and honesty, shared what she feared, what she longed for, and pondered how her sexuality might be different, better or more. Several women spoke of great healing and transformation of their sexual selves. There were plenty of laughs too . . . as you might imagine. It was a sacred healing balm.

After the sun set and the sky filled with stars, we gathered around a campfire at the shore of Lake Delavan. While snacking on S-Mores, more stories and laugher went around our circle of fire. There was a moment – a rare moment! – of silence, just sitting beside the lake which was like glass - dark, still and silent. In typical pajama party fashion, some women stayed up chatting through the wee hours of the night.

On Sunday morning we gathered at Vittem Hall for a lovely, spirit-filled meditation. I don’t know which was more profound, the meditation experience or the sharing around the circle afterwards. We leisurely feasted on all the Delavan favorites for breakfast with the odd and curious experience of having no announcements, no worries, no jobs, and no one telling us we had 30 seconds to finish our meal and get our butts in our backjacks. When we were good-and-ready to do so, we had a joy ceremony and afterwards ramped up our energy with drumming and dancing.

There was great interest in having another PJ Party and discussion about when, where, how long it might be, and how else we might play next time.

Here’s what women had to say about the Women in Circle Pajama Party:

I never knew my heart could get the goose bumps. Saturday night my heart was so filled with peace, joy, and happiness. I haven’t felt that giddy for a long time.

The exciting part for me was "experiencing" the setting with no pressure of a schedule. We were allowed to drink it all in and settle into our feelings.

I loved the relaxed schedule, the sense that we had plenty of time to talk, to enjoy getting to know one another and to be spontaneous.

I felt renewed, rejuvenated, connected, joyful, and playful.

It was great to be, once again, in a safe container for discussion and fun. I was thrilled with our impromptu discussion on Saturday because it's never felt safe to share anywhere else. The weekend also reminded me about how much always learn from other women's life experiences and their wisdom.

It was very reassuring that I did not have to be "happy and bubbly" and that I could bring my sadness about my mother's death with me and have that be ok. At many times during the weekend, I felt lonely, but I knew I wasn't alone.

I enjoyed the connection, sharing, being authentic without being judged, meeting new friends, and reconnecting with old friends. I’m already planning the next one.

I continue to feel a greater sense of connection even as my hectic week gets underway, and I am also continuing to reflect and learn from the wisdom each of you shared. I'm thrilled that the event was such a success; I look forward to doing it again and welcome anyone to step into a new role our next time around.

A special thanks, again, to Tracey Jane Hall for the great idea, and to the women who stepped up to take on responsibilities for organizing and leading.

 

Mary Ann Hartnett
(WWTW) Sept, 2000, Lake Delevan WI