Natasha Taylor: Lioness Out of Africa by Mary Walilko

Natasha on the right, with her mother, Yvonne Taylor

Born in Johannesburg, South Africa, Natasha Taylor says she had a “happy childhood, playing in the garden with my brother, going to wild game parks with my family.” She did however remember a sense that she was living in a bubble, and that things were "not quite right". Her early schooling was in a government all-white school, and for many years the only people of color she saw were those who worked in the homes, shops or restaurants. During high school, she felt lucky to attend a private school, which was racially mixed.

Natasha studied law for five years at the University of Port Elizabeth, a small seaside town in South Africa. She remembers skipping morning classes to water-ski and laze on the beach. “Students walked into class barefoot, and kept their surfboards at the back of the classroom!”Natasha chose law because she wanted the country to change and wanted to be part of this change. “It was the legislation which was so racist, and so I thought I would go into law.” During her second year at University (1994), the country held its first democratic election, and went through a powerful transition. The ANC (African National Congress) was elected into government and Nelson Mandela stepped up as the country's first black President.

Natasha with her father, Robert Taylor, at Cape Point in South Africa

After University, Natasha left for London, England and worked as a paralegal, which in England is something like a “trainee lawyer.” One day an attorney she worked for pointed proudly to a picture of his yacht. He said he so seldom used it because he worked too hard and never had time. It was the attainment of the yacht that was important. Natasha remembers thinking, “I don't want to be that. I don't want that to be my future.”

She had recently read a book about mediation that took place at a grass roots level throughout South Africa. “Throughout the early 90's mediators were working behind the scenes in the communities and with various governmental groups to mediate conflict and in doing so ease the transition from the old paradigm to the new. I really think it helped in ensuring a more peaceful transition than what might otherwise have happened and this inspired me to look at more alternative forms of conflict resolution." It was then that Natasha decided to become a mediator.
 

Natasha with her boyfriend, Anthone (Ant) Van Rensburg at Yosemite National Park in the U.S.

I ask Natasha why she moved to the United States. She answers, “I used to give a more comprehensive answer about it being an adventure but in truth it was about my boyfriend. We moved to Evanston, IL, where he was attending Kellogg Business School for his MBA. I expected the United States to be the same as England but went through a bit of a “culture shock”. For example. I was used to people in England and South Africa being slightly distant and polite at first and once I got to know them the friendship went deep. People in America, on the other hand, seemed very friendly initially, but when I dug a little deeper, they shut down. I mistook that initial friendliness for being 'open' and was very trusting up front.” On the other hand, she saw how Americans seemed very confident and the experience of this is something for which she is very grateful; “I engage with people much more easily as a result.”

WW and NW “runs” in her family: in the mid 1990's her father and brother did NWTW, and her mother did WWTW. Her mother's father, her aunt and her cousins have all gone through the weekends. By 1998, at age 24, Natasha finally decided to do WWTW at Gaunts House in Dorset, partially out of curiosity to find out what this was all about. For Natasha, “at age 24, it was a real initiation, going from girl to woman, into what it meant to be a woman. After being quite alone in England to this point, suddenly I had a whole community of women available to me.”

Natasha knew she wanted to staff weekends and become a facilitator as soon as she saw the carpet-work on Saturday...something just clicked inside. Once she started staffing it was like being on her own initiation weekend again and again. Natasha staffed for five years before giving herself “permission” to become a facilitator in training.

“The facilitation track has really changed me. When I was growing up, my nickname was “mouse” because I was very shy and quiet. Staffing weekends and being on the facilitation track has completely transformed that. For me, staffing is a lot about the fun of connecting with the other women. As a Facilitator-in-training (FIT) I found that I had to be more responsible which was tough at first because I just wanted to play! I think the best facilitators are the ones who can maintain a balance between facilitating, being present for the participants and connecting with staff. Sheri (Zuccato) was very good at that.” When asked to name the one facilitator who is the most gifted at building up FITs, Natasha mentions Esther (Robertson). “She is very open, a great mentor, she is so grounded and solid that she can step back and hold the space for a FIT to become more fully herself. She has helped me so much. I used to think that my fate on the FIT track lay in the hands of the facilitator and Weekend Leader who would be “grading” me but have come to realize that when I am really ready and really step into it, I move up the FIT track. I would encourage any woman to enter the Facilitator in Training track.”

When asked if the WW community in England is different from the one she found here, Natasha says, “The work is the same. I know I can go to any center and staff and the work will be the same everywhere. The work does not change because the emotional experience of life is the same, it's the common thread.”

Natasha was on the Council in England. When she moved to the Chicago area, she initially ran the Celebrations with Cynthia Luna, bringing in more ritual and “sacredness” to the event. “At the time, Marilyn Jaffe was the Chicago Council Spirit Leader and was stepping down. There was no-one to replace her and it seemed that the whole thing (WIC) might fizzle out. I did not want things to end for the Chicago Council so I stepped in as Spirit Leader (President). My priority became to strengthen the various parts already here, such as the Celebrations and Ecircles, and build up the Council. As I was coming to the end of my term as Council Leader and started thinking about what I had achieved, I realized women were stepping up more and becoming more involved. I realized that I had opened things up more, helped women step into their roles on the council and there was more inclusion."

Natasha and friend, Helen Billson, in England

At the time of her interview at the end of March 2007, Natasha was about to return to England after living for five years in the Chicago area. When she emailed her friends in the UK to let them know she was returning, they wrote back telling her of how many of them were on the FIT track, and that it may be harder for her to even get onto one of the 3 weekends a year in England. Natasha admitted to some competition among the FITs when there are limited opportunities, and that she might have to do some traveling to staff more weekends in the US. Her goal is to be a FIT 3 by end of this year. As she moves forward into her future, Natasha wants to create e-circle processes that deepen Multi-Cultural awareness. She is excited to reconnect with the women in England, many of whom seem focused on this work. "The UK community were very involved in the first South Africa weekend and were one of the driving forces to bring WW to South Africa. It took the work of many women to birth the South Africa weekend."

South Africa WWTW staff: WW global community working together

On the first South Africa WTWW weekend, there was an exercise with South African women on one side of the room and all other women on the opposite side. The women were asked to look across the room at one another and notice how they felt. When debriefed later, Natasha as a South African woman said she felt proud, strong, unique, confident and safe. “Whereas I was hearing the women from overseas express a need to protect, to help, and to do something for the South Africans across the room. My sense was that sometimes in America there is a desire to go out into the world to save and help, and that this may not be empowering, but rather a form of rescuing. Multi-cultural work is each individual asking 'how do I see this person as different from me, what are the assumptions I make and what is my resulting behavior.' My learning has been that it’s easy for me, when I consider the many ways in which I have been privileged, to act from a feeling a guilt and that I have to watch this.”

I ask her, “Where is home?” She answers, “I have moved a lot and the question of home is huge for me. Part of my journey is getting a sense of 'home” inside of myself. At the same time I want to put down roots. South Africa is in my blood, my true home but I do not feel physically safe there anymore. I have not had the feeling of “being home” inside of myself for 10 years, I feel foreign everywhere now.“

Natasha says that what she will miss most about Chicago is the Women in Circle community…her home community is going to change . . . again. Of all the American things she will miss most are going to baseball games and diners.

Natasha and Ant at their favorite spot in Canada

Natasha likes to read and cycle . . . she will really miss cycling along the Lakefront in Chicago. She calls herself “a water-baby.” If she could water ski every day of her life, she would be very happy. She likes to rock-climb, loves nature, and especially the mountains.

Asked if she if she could change two things about Woman Within, Natasha says, “(there would be) more transparency and more inclusion. There has always been a mystery about who are the council leaders, what is the staffing experience like, this information should be freely available.”

I ask her what is her greatest shadow: “Control, needing to be in control of my life, my world, when things go out of control, that is when I struggle. Chaos is the worst possible outcome. I can also manipulate: very gently and subtly steer someone where I want . . . except for my boyfriend.” She laughingly admits to not being able to control or manipulate him.

What is her brightest light? “When I am able to access a place inside myself of joy and play, then I am at my best.”

I ask her, “What does she want other women to know?” “Joy" she responds, "I think we connect and access our powers when we are in a place of connecting with joy, life is meant to be good, seeking out joy.”

“What feels like joy to you?” I ask. Natasha answers, “The feeling of something really resonating inside."

Natasha Taylor
WWTW November 1998,
Gaunts House, Dorset, England

As we were working on the loose ends of this interview article over the past few days, Natasha told me that she has become a aunt for the first time.  Her brother and his wife had a baby boy on April 20 and his name is Mathew.

Yvonne Taylor, wearing a paper crown and enjoying a South African sunset at Christmas