No Longer Invisible: Barb Rath reported by Louise Lovdahl, Roving Reporter

Barb Rath went through life purposefully being invisible until a Sunday afternoon in 2000. “I never looked people in the face – ever! I didn’t remember names, faces and I didn’t allow people to get in close.” She remembers standing in the final circle of the Woman Within Training Weekend (WWTW) and allowing everyone to see her. “This was the first time I was not intentionally being invisible,” says Barb with a smile in her voice.

Today Barb is a Presenter for the MKP sponsored “Isms and Issues” (I & I’s) workshops. From not looking anyone in the eye to being one of only two women presenters for MKP workshops around the US and boldly holding her own in front of groups of men and women, is a giant leap. In an effort to understand how this transformation occurred, Barb agreed to share some of her journey.

I asked Barb what brought her to Woman Within. She replied, “I came to Woman Within to save my marriage.” She further explained that after her husband, Miguel, did the New Warrior Training Weekend (NWTA) and started growing through doing his “work”, she realized that she also needed to work on some of her own issues or they would fall apart as a couple.

A program called “Running With Iron John” helped Barb to better understand what her husband experienced in the NWTA. The growth experienced by men after the NWTA can often cause separation between spouses. “Running with Iron John” serves as a reconnection piece for men and women. It also helped Barb get over the fear of process work and move forward to doing the WWTW.

Barb returned from her weekend to participate in an Empowerment Circle but when she expressed eagerness to get involved in her community, she was amazed to discover that there would not be a place for her until all of her scholarship loan was repaid. She began to look for a welcoming place.

Barb’s husband, Miguel, was meanwhile involved in the early work to bring multicultural trainings to MKP. The training model from VISIONS was discussed and worked in Barb and Miguel’s home nearly every day. As a differently abled woman and a Latina, she discovered much about herself through the concepts presented in the model.

As Barb began to attend VISIONS related trainings and become more knowledgeable and comfortable with the model, she discovered that MKP offered a place for her as one who could present the multicultural information to men, and eventually to women also. Barb completed the process to become a Presenter for the I & I trainings. She says that for a woman who once liked to be invisible, it is scary to step to the front of the room, to be seen and to deal with men around issues such as racism, classism and sexism.

When asked what keeps her going as a Presenter, Barb replied, “I know for a fact that this training can change the world. I see it happening before my eyes. No matter how much resistance there is out there, I know it will make the world a better place for my children.”

Barb helped to organize the Multicultural Council and their first conference. In her current position as the Multicultural Training Administrator, Barb is the contact person for scheduling I & I’s. Barb also is involved in programs such as The Bamboo Bridge and Taking It Lightly.

See a article below for Barb’s suggestions on bringing multicultural awareness to the Woman Within community.

 

A Conversation with Barb Rath, Presenter for the I & I Multicultural Training reported by Louise Lovdahl, Roving Reporter

Roving Reporter Louise: How do you respond to a woman who says, "I don't need multicultural training since I'm not racist."?

Presenter Barb: This workshop is not about owning racism or any other ism. It is about seeing how all of us were enculturated in a society where the isms exist and how that may have subconsciously affected our behaviors, interactions, and relationships in all areas of our lives. Dr. Thomas Griggs asked me this and I invite you to ask yourself, “When did the isms end? Did I grow up and enculturate in this society where the isms never ended?

When did the isms end in my life personally?” If you don’t have specific dates, then this workshop may be quite useful to you.

Roving Reporter Louise: Why don't women of color do the WWI weekend or stay in E-Circles?

Presenter Barb: I don’t think that we have created a safe enough container to hold the energy of these women. I don’t think most of us want to hear or are ready to hear the anger of a woman of color towards the institution that is white. It is very difficult to stand in the fire for the institution, because I want to be one of the “good guys.” I find it difficult to not hear the anger and frustration personally. I am both white and a woman of color. I am biracial and therefore I stand on both sides. I have the anger and I don’t want to admit that my group has participated in oppressing people. I know as a woman of color, I did not trust white people to hear me and really hold it together for me. As a white woman I wanted to say, “But I am not like that. You can trust me. I didn’t do anything to you,” which is all about me and dismissive to the other woman.

Woman Within is a wonderful organization doing some very powerful personal work. Maybe it is time to look at the cultural and institutional work, in order to create the safe containers that those with differences need.

Roving Reporter Louise: What can I do to bring in women of color to the WW community?

Presenter Barb: Until the support system is in place to retain and support these women in the way that is best for them, why would you want to bring a woman of color into the community? We are here and we should be bringing more WOC in, however I think they will come when we are ready and probably not before. When we have done our work, WOC will know that we are safe to hold their containers.

Roving Reporter Louise: What are your recommendations to the WWI board around I and I's or other multicultural trainings?

Presenter Barb: Now that MKP has established that WWI may hold I&I training, I would recommend we start with what is available. I would love to see more women joining the presenter corps or going to VISIONS Inc www.visions-inc.org directly. I would love to see WWI back the multicultural initiative for our organization. I am partial to the VISIONS model since I have been working with it for about 6 years now and I would love to see WWI choose any multicultural training and sell it for all we are worth. Women are waiting for us to get real and get dirty. It is terribly messy work and it is the most difficult work I do AND it is the most profoundly rewarding. My children cannot afford for me to sit by and leave this work for them. It is time for us to really do something concrete for our organization, our culture and our planet.

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